Monday, July 21, 2003
This morning as I took my shit and read my Entertainment Weekly, I found myself staring at a picture of Jason Mraz. Now, we understand that I have a new obsession with his music, but as I sat atop my toilet, I realized that it wasn’t the music I was thinking about. His skinny little body, dressed up in his jeans and hoody, made me incredibly horny. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to unbuckle those jeans and feel his girth while he held the back of my neck and kissed me.
SICK! He’s skinny! What was WRONG with me?!?! Maybe I am growing up after all.
I leave for the Bahamas on Saturday! AY YI YI! While enduring some pretty heavy constipation earlier, I sat and thought about the flight. Within minutes, the nerves in my stomach broke up my packed up bowels and the poop exploded with success. Basically that was my disgusting way of letting you know that I am nervous as all hell about the flight. When I told Paul that I was pretty scared, his response was “You know Joe, if it’s our time to die there is nothing you can really do about it.” Thanks Paul. You totally squelched my fears.
I had an absolutely INCREDIBLE time with Rita this weekend. Swear to God, the visit flew by so fast that I sit here shocked that I went to Syracuse and back. We had so many drinks, so many conversations, so many laughs. I spent some quality time with her fiancée and he asked me to be in the wedding. On the grooms side. Rita and I thought it was best for me to wear a tux, rather than in my beautiful bridesmaid dress. You understand.
Rita introduced me to the world of moisturizing. I have been battling this eczema/psoriasis thing, on my face, for years, but for the most part, it is under control. However, I woke up on Sunday morning to discover that both of my cheeks were COVERED in dry skin. I’m talking lizard-like scales that made me look as though I was preparing for Halloween, 3 months early. Rita gave me a bottle of sensitive, Clinique lotion to use until my face gets under control. Well, wouldn’t you know it? That little genius of a Rita has given me the gift of healthy moisturized skin! It looks MUCH better. Just wish I was smart enough to figure that one out on my own. Sometimes I am such a boy it’s ridiculous.
I haven’t seen Ahmad since my birthday. We spoke on the phone once. So last week, I sent him a forwarded email questionnaire thing-a-majigger. One of the questions was “What did you do last night?” Ahmad’s answer was “Had an awesome date with a great guy. We had two bottles of wine and a nice dinner.” Funny, cuz I thought he and I were still dating, but clearly he is with someone else. Another question was “Do you like the person who sent this to you?” Ahmad’s answer to that one was “Sure.” My initial reaction was “What a cunt smeller!”
I’m not complaining that Ahmad is pulling himself away from me. It’s fine. I want him to pull away from me because I don’t know how to tell him that he and I are totally over. Unfortunately, I would still like to be friends with him and I am unsure if that is going to be a possibility. We are supposed to go see Terminator 3 on Wednesday and I am already trying to come up with a way to cancel. But if I do cancel, he will surely hate me forever. I don’t know. I just don’t want to deal with any of this until I come back from the Bahamas. That’s fair, right? Actually I don’t care if it’s fair at all…it’s what’s going to happen.
Everything is my life is going pretty well these days. Rehearsals are great, work is hectic as fuck, but fine - my parents are good, my brother is doing well, and yeah. Overall I feel great! I get nervous when I have this feeling. Like I shouldn’t enjoy the relaxed nature of everything. It is so rare for there to be any calm in my life, that when it does happen, I feel as though something is surely going to show up and turn everything upside down. I am perpetually stuck in the “dropping of the other shoe” theory.
Then again, maybe I should just stop it and allow myself to feel good.
4 more days until I leave for my trip. I don’t think I have ever been this anxious and excited about something in my life. I am leaving the country for the first time!
And my first question to my mom this morning was “Will our condo have cable?”
Ah geez Joe.
Cut the Shit.
SICK! He’s skinny! What was WRONG with me?!?! Maybe I am growing up after all.
I leave for the Bahamas on Saturday! AY YI YI! While enduring some pretty heavy constipation earlier, I sat and thought about the flight. Within minutes, the nerves in my stomach broke up my packed up bowels and the poop exploded with success. Basically that was my disgusting way of letting you know that I am nervous as all hell about the flight. When I told Paul that I was pretty scared, his response was “You know Joe, if it’s our time to die there is nothing you can really do about it.” Thanks Paul. You totally squelched my fears.
I had an absolutely INCREDIBLE time with Rita this weekend. Swear to God, the visit flew by so fast that I sit here shocked that I went to Syracuse and back. We had so many drinks, so many conversations, so many laughs. I spent some quality time with her fiancée and he asked me to be in the wedding. On the grooms side. Rita and I thought it was best for me to wear a tux, rather than in my beautiful bridesmaid dress. You understand.
Rita introduced me to the world of moisturizing. I have been battling this eczema/psoriasis thing, on my face, for years, but for the most part, it is under control. However, I woke up on Sunday morning to discover that both of my cheeks were COVERED in dry skin. I’m talking lizard-like scales that made me look as though I was preparing for Halloween, 3 months early. Rita gave me a bottle of sensitive, Clinique lotion to use until my face gets under control. Well, wouldn’t you know it? That little genius of a Rita has given me the gift of healthy moisturized skin! It looks MUCH better. Just wish I was smart enough to figure that one out on my own. Sometimes I am such a boy it’s ridiculous.
I haven’t seen Ahmad since my birthday. We spoke on the phone once. So last week, I sent him a forwarded email questionnaire thing-a-majigger. One of the questions was “What did you do last night?” Ahmad’s answer was “Had an awesome date with a great guy. We had two bottles of wine and a nice dinner.” Funny, cuz I thought he and I were still dating, but clearly he is with someone else. Another question was “Do you like the person who sent this to you?” Ahmad’s answer to that one was “Sure.” My initial reaction was “What a cunt smeller!”
I’m not complaining that Ahmad is pulling himself away from me. It’s fine. I want him to pull away from me because I don’t know how to tell him that he and I are totally over. Unfortunately, I would still like to be friends with him and I am unsure if that is going to be a possibility. We are supposed to go see Terminator 3 on Wednesday and I am already trying to come up with a way to cancel. But if I do cancel, he will surely hate me forever. I don’t know. I just don’t want to deal with any of this until I come back from the Bahamas. That’s fair, right? Actually I don’t care if it’s fair at all…it’s what’s going to happen.
Everything is my life is going pretty well these days. Rehearsals are great, work is hectic as fuck, but fine - my parents are good, my brother is doing well, and yeah. Overall I feel great! I get nervous when I have this feeling. Like I shouldn’t enjoy the relaxed nature of everything. It is so rare for there to be any calm in my life, that when it does happen, I feel as though something is surely going to show up and turn everything upside down. I am perpetually stuck in the “dropping of the other shoe” theory.
Then again, maybe I should just stop it and allow myself to feel good.
4 more days until I leave for my trip. I don’t think I have ever been this anxious and excited about something in my life. I am leaving the country for the first time!
And my first question to my mom this morning was “Will our condo have cable?”
Ah geez Joe.
Cut the Shit.
